Why Are You Hiding?
Can I just say that I love the psalms? Seriously. They're so great. I have gotten out of the habit of reading one every day, but I'm trying to get back into it. My all-time favorite of all the psalms is Psalm 139. I think I like it because no matter how I'm feeling, when I read it, I feel closer to God. It's one of those things that reminds me that He's my creator, my father, my protector, and that He loves me more than I can possibly fathom.
Rebecca St. James did a hidden track on her God album. It's called Psalm 139. For some reason, I've found myself drawn to it a lot lately.
You search me
You know me
You see my every move
There's nothing I could ever do
To hide myself from You
You know my thoughts
My fears and hurts
My weaknesses and pride
You know what I am going through
And how I feel inside
But even though You know
You will always love me
Even though You know
You'll never let me go
I don't deserve Your love
But You give it freely
You will always love me
Even though You know
I've been realizing that I try to hide so many things from God. It's easy for me to go to Him when I'm hurt by people. I can tell Him all about it, pray about it, and usually have my heart softened. But when it comes to things that I view as ways I've been hurt by Him, I can't do it.
Now, I'm not saying that God is actually the reason I'm hurt. It is merely my perception of certain situations. On some level I know that everything happens in it's time, that God has a purpose for my life that is far better than what I can conceive, but I find myself asking things like, "Why is it God's plan for me to be hurting this much." Those things, the things that hurt me at the heart of who I am, are the things I've been trying to hide from God.
So why am I hiding? Do I really think He doesn't already know?
Just like the song and the psalm says, there is nothing I can do to hide from Him. He knows my thoughts, my fears, my pain, my strengths, my weaknesses, my movements, every part of my life, and every party of me...to the core. Before I comprehend what I'm going through, He knows. Before I know my own reaction to something, He knows it.
And the thing is, even though He knows all of that, He loves me. How crazy is that?
I don't have to hide for two reasons. One, He already knows. Sometimes that's comforting, sometimes it's a bit unnerving, but it is the truth. But the more important reason is that nothing we're withholding from Him will scare Him away. He's there loving us no matter what.



Reflections
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